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Today we are going to discuss about the importance of forgiveness in our life and why is it really hard to forgive ourselves. Forgiving people is good quality but practically it is difficult to forgive someone. Also, we will discuss some practical reasons why can’t you forgive yourself.
What are the reasons that we don’t forgive ourselves ? Do you know yourself truly ? have you ever tried to analyse yourself ? Why cant you forgive yourself or others?
The simple answer to why can’t you forgive yourself is that you can’t change yourself. You’re afraid to change yourself, or do not want to get out of your comfort zone. When you’ve done the mistake in present consciousness of mind and hate yourself, then it is difficult to forgive yourself in that similar level of consciousness. Forgiveness is a divine quality; it comes by experiences ,the real meaning of life and its purpose.
Forgiveness is not a bad thing to avoid rather a divine quality to be acquired. But forgiveness over your improvement or change is not good. If you are not correcting yourself to not repeat the same mistake then ,forgiveness is simple a wastage.
When we are doing well in our life, we love ourselves and we don’t care about small loses and problem. we always feel motivated to work and to make progress in life. we always feel couraged to forgive the small nuisances in our lives.
But when we are going through a tough struggle to make our life good, it becomes hard to forgive ourselves. In that period a small mistake or problems affects us a lot. And we don’t want to do that again. We know that
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
― Steve Maraboli
The intelligence of human being increases as we experience the life more and more. The intelligence of mind tells the nature of the person. Knowing yourself is the first step to live a happy life. you are the master of our life’s experiences and you can control your feelings.
I will not forgive myself for my mistakes. WHY? This much of hate for yourself will throw you into self-doubt. Throw it out from your mind. If you’ve done any mistakes, convince your mind to forgive yourself.
As a psychological concept, the benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, social sciences and medicine. Forgiveness is not condoning or forgetting.
How Self Forgiveness Leads to Light, Love, and a Joyful Life! | Sahilsharmablogs | TEDxOakParkWomen
Mistakes helps us to not get on the wrong way, they are like the dumbs on the road from which we have to ride by side. It is like reminder to us to be on the right way. Doing mistakes is not the bad thing, but repeating is.
Live life you want, work for your dreams; stay happy. These are the real blessings to be earned. Forget and forgie the people around you , who hurt you. But focus on yourself, don’t ignore your mistakes, forgiving your mistakes is good, but improving yourself is a must.
People are so self centred sometimes that they get lost in their own thoughts and anxiety. Depression is the major problem these days, it is destroying most people’s life. we get stuck with our life problems and instead of searching for solution, we only think about our problem from all the worst scenarios.
Any negative feelings will not allow yourself to forgive yourself. It starts visualising more and more despising situation. You start feeling hatred for yourself. In such conditions you don’t have enough courage to forgive yourself. Your thoughts are against you and such a condition of mind will always degrade you.
Our surroundings is the reason of depression. People may say living alone can also be the reason. Offcourse the both may be the reason, and except these, there are a lot reasons. But our surroundings is the most certain way to get depressed. I am not talking about physically surrounded by things or people, but mentally what our thoughts come around in our mind the every time. Negative thoughts makes us depressed and we are responsible for that.
Sometimes for not any obvious reasons we get depressed or feel regret. These feeling always stay in ourselves , but when we get entangled with such thoughts , all the negative thoughts associated with that surrounds us and crate a whole big problem leads to depression .
In such scenarios we become ill tempered, our happinessif get lost. No one will love you or you also start hating yourself. Your life will become the hellish. You lose your vision for life. For all such feelings, your mind is responsible. Surround your mind with positive thoughts and emotions vision, imagination, Goals, etc. Practice to control your mind.
If you can control your mind there is no reason to become sad, but when we lose our control over our mind, it will become the greatest enemy of your life. And for such situations you will not forgive yourself, when you do any mistakes, your mind is controlled by the external circumstances.
Our life is the mysterious creation of the God. We urge to gain external knowledge for our growth, but the real knowledge which can give you the real success lies within us. Practice to look within your mind and explore yourself.
When you try to gain knowledge from external sources their might chances that some negative energies also come in your mind associated with that. And will make you depress, but when you understand the real truth , here is nothing that can make you sad. For you happiness and distress will be the same, you enjoy the peacefull life.
Forgiveness or blame should be claimed very carefully. So here we are going to discuss about the most common reasons why can’t we forgive ourselves.
Most Common Reasons Why Can’t I Forgive Myself
These reasons will help you know your obstacles in forgiving yourself. Let’s discuss them in details…
Life is a process of continuous change. There is nothing permanent, the worst and the best circumstances, both be will be change according to their time. There is no reason to get attached to any thing and get depressed for that. Ddon’t think failures as a negative thing, rather failures bring many new things to leran and apply.
Enright says, “Despite the proven benefits of moving on, forgiveness can be a tough concept for some people to embrace. It can feel unfair to have to put in the effort to forgive when the other person was the one in the wrong. But that’s life.”
Habits are the smallest things that can bring the biggest change in your life. every positive habit builds assurance of your success.
Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. [source:wikipedia]
Wrath is a burning feeling that halts in our mind. It is destructive in nature, it distracts us from the path of peace and joy. It agitates us to do that which is not meant to be done. Wrath is a temporary feeling and its consequenes can make us sad fro permanent.
A wrong decision taken in the nager can make you hate yourself and a feeling of hated will halt in our heart that will become difficult for you to forgive and forget.
Studies at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.[ source:wikipedia]
No friends or Depression
Keeping the grief insinde your brain becomes poison and it stats deteriorating your mind. Whenever you feel alone in life many negative thoughts may come in your mind, they may come like for your good, but they are absolutely not. At the end , they make you more despair and distressed.
In this situations you need someone or friends to whom you can share your thoughts unless it will create the agative empire against yourself. You will start hating yourself and never going going is forgive unless the root is damaged.
You are not other
We are surrounded by the materialistic lust all time and they are all set in our minds. We get attracted by others higher comfort than ours. A feeling of respect and affection for others develop within us. This feeling is associated with jealous somewhere.
But our love is for their materialistic achievements and we forgive them even when they hurt us because we get illusioned by their lusty achievements.
Life acts whimsicall with us sometimes. It is unpredictable and we have to face its all changes. Any desirable change brings happinessand joy and undiesirable change brings despair and stress. We always work for our growth and these changes may comes to us in the form of obstacles.
If we can’t beat the obstacles we get envious by it and we count ourselves as a loser. You get disturbed by all these obstackels and you can’’t forgive yourself for your mistakes by which you lost.
Attachment can be used for positive and negative change in life. attachment to any positive things bring positivity around you, also negative attachment bring negativity around you. Attachment is the cause of many miseries in life. sometimes it becomes our weakness and we we get detached by it, negative feelings get dwells in our brain.
Narrow mined people never succed in life they just entangled with the limited things in their life. they create their own rues and regulations they don’t believe in others opinion. They look world from a negative perspective. They feel superior themselves and no one is above them. But they don’t forgive themselves when done something bad.
Life is good when you have posiyive emotions in mind. Attachment associates with emotins both are interconnected. Attchments or emotional connection with the things which leads you further in life is a good thing, but if you get attached to the materialistic illusion around yourself, than it will create problems to you. You will become a emotional fool, if you can’t control your emotions.
Bad beahaviour… behaved bad with someone
We have always taught in life to respect others , but still we hurt someone’s feeling unintentionally. We regret , but don’t forgive. We always think what he/she will think of us. If they have forgiven us, we don’t forgive ourselves.
We punish ourselves to overcome the regression you feel self hatred. But over time you will overcome this , and your bonding with that person will get stronger.
Feeling of guilt
The guilt feeling will develop hatred for you. Unless you overcome the feeling of guilt , you will not forgive yourself. If you have feeling of regret to your guilt, you will forgive yourself easily. Don’t allow to stay the guilt feeling in your mind, if you have done wrong and feeling regret for that, the guilt will be overcome easily.
But if it stayed in your mind, it works like poison it will dgrade your values and thoughts gradually and self hatred will develop in your mind.
If your mistakes have lead someone into trouble and you know that their conditions will become worst in future. This feeling will never let you forgive yourself.
There is nothing right or wrong to be discussed, all have defined and it can be changed. What seems right today may become wrong in future and vice versa. Never get depressed by taking any wrong decision, because may be the circumstance are the reason to make thatb decision wrong. Decisions can change your life positively or negatively.
Disgraceful or shameful
Fame and shame are the two extremes of society. Fame is earned through hard efforts but it can be lost just with a single mistake. Shame is the negative energy, it works like poison for us. Mistakes that can’t be forgiven and bring a lot of shame to us will make our life worse than hell.
Cheated on someone
We live in a society of different types of people. We don’t like the company of all of them and all don’t like our company. Due to this somepeople create their own negative opinion about ourself and hate us.
Also we sometimes do like someone, and we in our ignorance hurt them by cheating them. But when we realize our mistake we may forgive them , but we start hating ourself.
Life is very unpredictable, even if we have the control over many things. When it will bring joy or sorrow is not known. Sometimes it will be joyous to us, but when we are struggling from some problems and it brings the unpredictable pain, we become envious and totally confused.
Every lock has a key; Every problem has a solution
The thing which we need is;PATIENCE
You feel helpless in that situation. If you don’t get the solution to come out of that you become depressed and lose your confident. Start hating yourself, until you get the solution.but always remember, every problem comes with solution.
Affected a lot by your mistake
If you have done something bad that you neer expect by yourelf , you will hate yourself for this. We are surrounded by different types of people. if you are surrounded by pessimist people, then they will realize you that you have done something worst. They will make you start hating yourself. Don’t get caught up in their trap.
If you are a pessimist person, it will become difficult to take a single step to your goal.
A optimist sees evey difficulty a opportunity…..quote
No one like to make friendsip with pessimist people. the pessimist ruin their life by their own. Pessimist mindset only suggests you the negative things to do. And after realizing what you have done, it also become changed to self hatred.Practice to change your attitude and become a optimist person.
Success comes with consistence efforts and practice. Life brings many opportunities to become success, but we don’’t acquire the all. there might be many reason to not acquire the opportuitiies such as fear, knowledge etc. but we have to not miss the opportunities.
Just acquire the opportunities without afrid of results. If you don’t acquire it, you will regret you and think you’re not capable to do that. You will not fprgive yourself in future for your missing the opportunities.
If youhave hurt someone whom you respect a lot then you feel sad. You take their despair as because of yours and regret yourself. You will develop hatred for yourself and not forgive yourself.
Strict mind to improve yourself
Sometimes we acquire strict discipline in our ofe to achieve our goal. We also punish ourselves for not following it. It is good to be disciplined about your goals but for this you should not make your mind troublefull.
Lost control over mind
People get distracted due to the flickering behaviour of mind. It is vey diificult to control your mind but by a consistent practice you can get control over your mind.
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